The Ginger Butcher

The Ginger Butcher is the worst. Sloe gin, bottom shelf vodka, and table wine–a jigger of each into a heated glass. A healthy splash of tomato juice for the vitamins, and a dash of sour mix. Next in: a few cocktail onions and brine of olives. Then meat drippings, whatever we have on hand. Today … Continue reading

Retiring Room

There’s dust on the fan blades and the cardboard my sister had wedged between the ceiling and the fan base has fallen to the ground. So now there’s a clatter every first, second, third heartbeat as that metal spins off its axis and scrapes plaster off the ceiling. The resultant gray and white powder does not collect itself neatly in a … Continue reading

So Bad It’s Good: Ringer, Or, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Stop Making Me A Cat-Owning, Marathon-TV-Show-Watching Cliche

I’m ashamed to admit most the reason for my insomnia last night. But I will. Oh, I will. Ringer. Yes, that terrible, Sarah Michelle Gellar, prime-time melodrama which only lasted one season. But, that friggin’ season was twenty two episodes long! I didn’t know this going into episode one. I didn’t even realize this going into episode … Continue reading

The Great Bacon Shortage of 2012

I was talking to Dropping Canes a few days ago about The Great Bacon Shortage of 2012. Yes. The internet frenzy has caused a rush on bacon. Bacon cups, bacon jerky, chocolate-dipped bacon donuts, bacon-fried bacon. And now the bacon is scarce. Every man, woman, and child has been hoarding hog and selling high. And … Continue reading

Tea Leafin’ for a Drum ‘n’ Bass

I washed me clothes ‘ere. Washed me skin, me wounds. Now they say ‘m washed clean enough t’ go. May not’ve had privacy, but this was mine. Was mine. Now been tol’ it’s the bird lime for me to scapa flow.  ‘m gonna miss this one. Warm. Not ‘ungry every day. Longest I’ve ever been … Continue reading