Monthy Python and the Holy Grail (1975 Sony Pictures)

• Decide to read instead

• Remember halfway to the coffee shop that I don’t have my laptop

• Work on paper while drinking coffee

• Sleep

• Forget what day it is

• Remember what day it is and become despondent because I’m a bit too much like Arthur Dent

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (2005 Touchstone Pictures)

• Wonder when there will be something decent on TV

• Wonder when the last time I turned my TV on was

Today Show (NBC)

• Wonder if I’ve become “that person“

• Remind myself I use the computer as a TV and I’m safe from being “that person“

• Glare at Alarm Clock Cat for taking up the best part of the bed

• Listen to vibrato a bit too closely and wonder why we enjoy listening to people who sound like chipmunks.

• Note that I have too much time on my hands and too much coffee in my tummy

• Read other blogs, weighing whether or not I have anything useful to add to the post-primordial internet stew.

• Decide to stay firmly on the fence.

And then, when that’s all done, I blog about not blogging.

Why did I start watching?!?

I’m ashamed to admit most the reason for my insomnia last night. But I will. Oh, I will. Ringer.

Yes, that terrible, Sarah Michelle Gellar, prime-time melodrama which only lasted one season. But, that friggin’ season was twenty two episodes long! I didn’t know this going into episode one. I didn’t even realize this going into episode ten…Ohhhh no, I didn’t know.

§

For those of you unfamiliar with this trainwreck, in Ringer, Sarah Michelle Gellar (SMG) plays dual roles as Siobhan Martin and Bridget Kelly, twins who have had a falling out over an (for most of the series) unknown reason. Brianna has fallen into a life of prostitution, stripping, and drugs, while Siobhan has married into extreme wealth and appears to be a raging, egocentric, narcissistic bitch.

Bridget has witnessed a murder and is set to testify. But her life is in danger, so she runs to her sister, who finally forgives her. (Awww!) Then, it appears Siobhan commits suicide. (OH! NO!) Briana assumes her identity, believing her sister has done this so she will be safe, only to find her sister’s life is being threatened, and much more complicated than she could have believed. (Dun. Duunn. Duuuuunnnnn.)

There are scandals, murders, allegiances made and broken, and lots and lots of people having the possibility of a “fresh start.” Get used to that phrase, you will hear it a lot. Oh, and Siobhan is a ho. Add in a splash of a vindictive ex-wife, gangsters, slimy businessmen, pregnancies, a problematic step-daughter, and an unimaginable number of helpful and/or scheming people, and Ringer is stone soup. If that stone was crack.

§

Anyway…

Ringer is available on Netflix right now and I’ve had it lingering in my queue for ages. No big deal. But I’m running out of English language shows / movies to watch and, given that I work with words all the time, my eyes are not always in the condition to read subtitles.

The TV show caught my eye on the queue. And it started out innocently enough. Oh, I’ll just play a few episodes and it’ll be so dumb I’ll stop watching. But no. It wasn’t. It wasn’t even so good it was worth it. It sat firmly in the territory of so stupid I can’t stop watching it.

Also so bad I couldn’t stop watching it.

So I watched Ringer. And i watched it. And watched it. And time passed and I didn’t notice. Babies were born; stars died. And then it was four AM. Oh, I might as well just stay up and watch the last of the episodes. If I sleep now, I’ll sleep most of the day, and then I’ll be up all night again.

Seven AM.

And I start to reconsider things. I still have four episodes to go, and the nephews have woken up; I can hear them brawling. It’s like they wake up and those pubescent hormones switch instantly to rage. I’m too tired to even consider drinking coffee around the vicious displays of the side effects of testosterone overload.

And there are still four episodes to go. Four episodes until I know how things will resolve for Bridget and Siobhan. Good or Evil? Wrong or Right? Up or Down? Will I be sane when it ends? All I know is that there are four episodes to go before I sleep. Four episodes of Ringer before I sleep.

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Orange fruit and cross section (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

What would you do if one of your friends nearly died? Well, I can tell you. You cry. You wait. You pray or hope. You don’t sleep much. And when your friend finally wakes up, the elation and relief and love are overwhelming.

But then the bills start coming in the mail. Your friend is alive, and you know at exactly what monetary cost.

Now what would you do?

You would do everything you could to help her live, just the way the doctors did everything they could to save her life.

Karen DeLabar is that friend.

Karen is beloved. And it is because of this and her strong network of friends that we have come up with one way to help cover her medical costs. We are putting together an anthology in her honor. 

In addition to donating a short story to this anthology, I will be donating my time and services as one of the editors. The other creatives committed to the success of this project are Christina Esdon, Jennifer Gracen, Richard B. Wood, K.D. McCrite, Janelle Jensen, Jesse James, and Steven Luna. And a special thank you to Kip Ayers who is donating the original cover art. Please check out his amazing work. 

I’m now turning this space over to Christina Esdon, author of the upcoming novel Work in Progress. She has the “Five Ws” as she puts it nicely, Who, Why, What, Where, When.

WHO:

Karen DeLabar is a friend, writer, wife, and mother of two precious little girls. She is one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet online or in person. She is an effervescent presence in the Twitterverse and a supporter of indie writers on her blog: http://karendelabar.com/. Karen lives her life with her heart on her sleeve. She is a warrior for life and a champion of love.

WHY:

This past summer our dear friend was hospitalized with a life-threatening illness. We almost lost her to Toxic Shock Syndrome, but because of excellent medical care, her fighting spirit, and love and support from friends and family, she survived. However, her life since has been riddled with rehabilitation, surgeries and doctor’s appointments. She has endured more than anyone should have to endure at thirty years old. By the time you read this she will have had her pinkie toe amputated (which she likes to refer as ‘zombie pinkie toe’). Multiple sessions in a hyperbaric chamber have increased circulation to the rest of her appendages, hopefully saving further loss of limb.

WHAT:

So while our friend is alive and kicking ass in recovery, she’s been stiffed with a pile of medical bills. Because she’s our friend and because we believe in her cause and her recovery, some writers have got together to put together a short story anthology in honor of Karen.

All proceeds from the book will go directly to Karen, so that she can pay her medical bills.

WHERE:

Orangekaren.wordpress.com has all the Submission Guidelines and other information you may need.

WHEN:

Submission deadline is December 15, 2012. For those of you participating in NaNoWriMo, you’ve got a couple of weeks to rally to get your submission in to: Christina.esdon@gmail.com (Please read the Submission Guidelines on the website before contacting us)

Thank you for reading, everyone. And just as a reminder, the genre is indeed open. As long as you can stay within the word count, theme, and rating (I know…) let your imagination run wild. 

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English: Applewood-smoked bacon covered in ganache (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I was talking to Dropping Canes a few days ago about The Great Bacon Shortage of 2012. Yes. The internet frenzy has caused a rush on bacon. Bacon cups, bacon jerky, chocolate-dipped bacon donuts, bacon-fried bacon. And now the bacon is scarce. Every man, woman, and child has been hoarding hog and selling high. And folks, don’t get tricked into buying the fake stuff; I’ve heard it could be turkey, soy, rat, heck, it may even be a hobo. Who knows to what lengths these people will go?

The Great Bacon Shortage of 2012. We will remember this year. Forever.

(*not factual)

Filed under: Drabbles, Tiny Tales Tagged: bacon, Bacon shortage, don't believe the hype, drabble, fiction, hoarding hog, motel hell, Quill Shiv, supply and demand, The Great Ba, The Great Bacon Shortage of 2012 ]]> http://quillshiv.com/2012/10/15/the-great-bacon-shortage-of-2012/feed/ 2 quillshiv English: Applewood-smoked bacon covered in ganache http://quillshiv.com/2012/07/27/tea-leafing-for-a-drum-n-bass/ http://quillshiv.com/2012/07/27/tea-leafing-for-a-drum-n-bass/#comments Fri, 27 Jul 2012 13:05:59 +0000 Quill Shiv http://quillshiv.com/?p=1504 ]]>

photo credit: Madison Woods

I washed me clothes ‘ere. Washed me skin, me wounds. Now they say ‘m washed clean enough t’ go. May not’ve had privacy, but this was mine. Was mine. Now been tol’ it’s the bird lime for me to scapa flow.

 ’m gonna miss this one. Warm. Not ‘ungry every day. Longest I’ve ever been in a drum ‘n’ bass. ‘m a regular pot ‘n’ pan now. ‘efore. Me china, Charlie. He waitin’ for me.

 Got no bees ‘n’ honey. Back to bein’ a tea leaf.

 No where t’ go.

 No where. ‘cept right back ‘ere, to Bob Squash clean.

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I need to admit that I’m uncertain about this particular piece. The dialect and slang above is cockney, which I’m not very intimate with, but researched for this work. I’m very open to suggestions and criticism, especially from those familiar with the dialect.

I’m sure most of you have been there, but this character just irritated me into being something I wasn’t familiar with…so I went with it as an experiment. Thank you for taking the time to read.